For some people, these painful memories do not heal but instead become stronger and more upsetting. These people often go on to develop a condition called Posttraumatic stress disorder or PTSD. People with PTSD can have flashbacks, nightmares or just upsetting recollections of the memory. They often work hard to avoid thoughts, feelings or situations that may trigger the memory. Getting upset so often can cause them to startle easily, always be on guard, have difficulty sleeping and have frequent temper/anger outbursts. The high level of stress may also make them become emotionally numb, withdraw from relationships and lose interest in activities. Finally, having PTSD can cause other problems such as depression, substance abuse, fears and phobias, etc.

When a memory heals just enough so that you don’t think about it anymore it can cause hidden problems. An argument with your spouse may subconsciously trigger an unhealed memory of witnessing your father hit your mother as a child, causing you to overreact with fear and anger. Since you have learned to keep the memory itself from coming into consciousness you will have no idea that the memory has had any effect. Instead you will probably just think that you are an overly emotional person or that you in fact must not really love your spouse. These hidden emotional reactions can lead you to make wrong decisions. For instance, women who were sexually abused as children often get a strong urge to divorce their husband when their daughter reaches the age that they were abused.

There is good news for anyone who is suffering from the conscious or subconscious effects of these emotional wounds. Powerful techniques have been developed over the past 10-15 years to help people identify the effects of painful memories and to get those memories to fully heal. After appropriate treatment most people report that they can’t get themselves upset about the memory no matter how hard they try. It is now possible for people to reach a place of peace about even the most horrible things imaginable. At Russell Associates we are determined to help as many people as possible to fully heal as many memories as possible. For us, a memory has only fully healed when you can pass what we call the $1000 test. The $1000 test works like this. At the beginning of counseling you rate how upset you would get if you really allowed yourself to relive the memory on a 0-10 scale (where 10 is the most upset you have ever been in your life and 0 is neutral, no negative feeling). If the memory starts at a 9 or a 10 when you start then by the end of counseling it should be a 0 or a 1. By the end of counseling, the memory should heal so completely that if someone gave you $1000 and all you had to do to keep it was to get yourself upset by thinking about that memory you should have to respectfully give them their money back.